Ain't it the Truth!!!
A woman goes to her doctor for her annual check up.
The nurse starts with certain basic items.
How much do you weigh?' she asks. 'Eight and a half stone,' the woman says.
The nurse puts her on the scales and her weight is actually ten stone.
The nurse asks, 'Your height?' '5 foot 8 !!!', she says. The nurse checks and sees that she only measures 5' 5'.
She then takes her blood pressure and tells the woman that it is very high.
'Of course it's H IG H !!!' the woman screams, 'When I came in here I was tall and slender .... Now I'm short and fat !!!'
1.Boxing, 2.Niagara Falls. The rim is worn down about two and a half feet each year because of the millions of gallons of water that rush over it every minute.
3.Asparagus and rhubarb.
4.Strawberry.
5.How did the pear get inside the brandy bottle? It grew inside the bottle. The bottles are placed over pear buds when they are small and are wired in place on the tree. The bottle is left in place for the entire growing season. When the pears are ripe, they are snipped off at the stems.
6.Dwarf, dwell and dwindle.7.Period, comma, colon, semicolon, dash, hyphen, apostrophe, question mark, exclamation point, quotation marks, brackets, parenthesis, braces, and ellipses.
8 Fresh is Lettuce.
9. Shoes, socks, sandals, sneakers, slippers, skis, skates, snowshoes, stockings, stilts.
Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.